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To promote TOTALLYAwesomeTV, I’m embarking on a quest of EPIC proportions – for an online love with EPIC proportions… (insert lecherous stare/uncomfortable pause). Alternate title? THE SEARCH FOR THE TRUEST ONLINE LOVE EVER.
ENTER NOW – EMAIL TOTLLYAwesomeTV@GMAIL.COM — Yes, honey, “Totally” is now spelled T-O-T-L-L-Y. Wrap your cranium around it, or rather, don’t. Just look pretty and write me stuff.
1. Only one billion entries per person. That means, yes, feel free to LOVE me or HATE me, as many times as you like. Give me your best/worst, but let’s not make this an abusive relationship. If you want to hate, stick to hate. You wanna love? Love me up. But no double-whammies. I don’t like to be confused while I’m contemplating (or contempt-lating) TRUE (online) LOVE.
2. NO REAL NAMES. I have SPECIFIED that I will only accept entries from Online-Dating Handled Potential Online True Lovers. I’ve even given you suggestions, if you bothered to watch the promo video with the sound on! *stern unimpressed Julie Andrews face* Let’s save “totally weirding each other out” for the next stage in our (online) TRUE LOVE RELATIONSHIP: The Online Wedding. (In a chatroom.) You may want to get yourself one of them YAH-HOO addresses, or just send it from the one you send the cock-shots from. All good.
3. Online Love Candidates will be evaluated on the basis of:
- Sincerity/Depth of Emotion
- Awesomeness (General)
4. Entries become property of nikkiawesome.com.
THE GRAND PRIZE
The WINNER – or should I say, MY NEW ONLINE TRUE LOVE RELATIONSHIP FOREVER (one month) will receive notification by email of our new “in a relationship” status. Which will mean NOTHING because they’ll already feel their heart soaring across the sky at a grillion MPH.
Once the winner KNOWS they’re the winner, well, that’s where the personalized true love messages, pictures and videos come in. I can’t wait to tell the whole wide web about how super awesome you are and how you’re just the best, smartest, sexiest thing since sliced GORGEOUS.
Dear winner; could I please have an address to send you something in the post? I want to make sure you’ve got EVERYTHING you need for your TOTALLY AWESOME RELATIONSHIP SURPRISE PACK.
I know being creative isn’t always the strong suit of the strong suit, so here’s a list of things I love (but most of all, I love my dedicated fans so a quick re-read of some of my posts wouldn’t go amiss in your winner-takes-all battle for my online affections):
Ye Olde Times of Royalty
Arts + Culture
Displays of Jealousy
Showers of Compliments
Roses (with thorns)
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
ME ME ME ME ME
That’s alllllll, folks! Start emailing your letters of true and honest (virtual) REAL devotion to TOTLLYAwesomeTV@GMAIL.COM and may the best LOVE win! xx