After Beyoncé exploded out a baby girl he was all, “and forevermore, I shall nevermore useth the word ‘bitch’ for as long as we all shall care,” which I thought was a bit ironic given that he had made about a grillion dollars using ‘bitch’ in like, every song ever. It pisses me off when celebrities get all up in arms about a cause and do a 180 over something that made them soooooo much money and their entire careers, but don’t think to do anything like “actually, I am now starting a charity organization to help young men recognize that women are their equals and should be treated as such” and rah rah rah.
HOWEVER… Even though I suspect it may be more of a ploy to get the “pink vote” I think it’s brilliant that Hova has stepped up to say that opposition to same-sex marriage is discrimination. Quote via SPIN:
“I’ve always thought [of] it as something that’s still holding the country back,” Jay-Z told CNN when asked about the lack of legal recognition for same-sex couples. “What people do in their own homes is their business … It’s no different than discriminating against blacks. It’s discrimination, plain and simple.”
All the same, I doubt you’re gonna start hearing “Hard Cock Life” at the Obama rallies… or WILL YOU?
Wait, people are just “getting” the Kirk Cameron is ludicrously backwards, and homophobic? Really? #SoundsLikeSomeone’sCrazy’sMakingThemBorderlineRelevantAgain
As an aside, I was an OFFICIAL member of the Mr Belvedere fan club. OFFICIAL. Y’all probably can’t even SPELL that.
PS – Remember when it was a rumor that elder Mr Belvedere brother grew up to be Marilyn Manson? Awesome.
So proud to have known these artistic/ambitious/superinteresting folk back when we was tweens (I lived on the same street as two of them. Yes, under the power lines, probably.)
Essentially they have created a biochemical corporation that uses different multimedia outlets to reach their market… wait a minute, that’s just like in REAL LIFE… and they have targeted demographics that actually exist – so this super cool project “feels real”.. evidence? See the videos. I’ll let them explain it to you properly – but we’re talking biochemical apocalyptic shit… via theatre, video, web, social media. Totally foreseeable possible reality… Spooky!
They’re working on an interactive theatre project/fucking rad EXPERIENCE, no less, and you can see the details here but in order to pull it all off, they need $5,000 more dollars from you to make it happen. Are you up for it, baby? I will personally kiss the first one to whip out $2.5K on the business chargecard. C’mon ladies and gents, get out the pocketbooks.
Please give them some cash and support the arts, especially to create multimedia experiences like this. I wish I was in Toronto right now to get all up in it!
xx
(Oh and PS – yes, that is ME with the Mohawk, back in the day. I TOLD YOU IT WAS TRUE.)
You know when you’re thinking “how can I articulate the majority of my beliefs quickly and entertainingly on the blog, particularly as my last entry was essentially a rant of hatefulness at a luxury brand”? (Don’t worry, it happens to us all.)
I realized that many of my North American readership may not have heard of the awesomest book ever to exist (after the legions of books I’ve written and have yet to publish, obviously) Caitlin Moran’s HOW TO BE A WOMAN.
There are two points I disagree with in the below video.
1. pube-fro’s
2. flip-flops.
Other than that, I’m pretty 100% behind her on this one. C’mon boys… put those feet up – you’ve ben running the world for soooooooo long. Give the ladies a crack! Hooray!
I find it ludicruous that people continue to make statements all over the internet (and in real-life, shock/horror) about how “International Women’s Day Is EVERY DAY”, usually because some douche with half a dick either stopped saying “fat bitch” in the open office or is resentful because “girls get free drinks”. Or because you hugged your mom/sister/female cat.
In case you hadn’t noticed, women get paid (in this “progressive” part of the world) roughly 75-80% of what a man does for the same work, are far more likely to be the victims of sexual attack, are more likely not to report any sexual or domestic violence, sexual harassment or bullying, are more likely to feel pressured into feelings of low self-worth by 90% of the marketing directed at them, etc etc etc… Sounds great, huh? I LOVE how “International Women’s Day is Every Day!” (FYI – that was in a sing-song voice in my head because I’m being massively sarcastic and snipey – just thought you ought to know)
I had a conversation recently about feminism, and what it means to me in the face of current talks in the media about “aging gracefully, doing the same jobs men can do blah blah blah.” It seems to me that there are an awful lot of so-called ‘feminists’ that disagree with all sorts: cosmetic surgery (because clearly women only undergo it because they’re forced to BY MEN), makeup, dress-up, prostitution, provocative clothing/speech et cetera. Here’s my take on it, so listen up:
Being a feminist and being lucky enough to be a woman in the era and in the region that I am means that I CAN DO WHAT THE FUCK I WANT. I have the access to education and research to make my own decisions, and can then be responsible about the consequences of my actions. I can express my thoughts, feelings, and sexuality in the manner that *I deem appropriate, can feel secure that my rights will be (arguably) upheld by government when I indicate that they are in breach. I also have the right to change my mind about any decisions, statements or actions I have made in the past or might make in the future. I don’t have to answer to anyone or be held to some bullshit stereotypical standard of gender role that society has laid out for me, and if I do decide I ‘like’ something stereotypically “female” it doesn’t define me in my entirety nor does it devalue my social contribution as a feminist.
So how am I celebrating International Women’s Day? By giving you a song that, if it were written/sung by a man, would incite gender riots. Why the fuck not? I’m lucky enough to be able to write it, live where I live, have access to education, healthcare and human rights, and be a fucking AWESOME woman. It’s all part of this wicked gender disparity dialogue that is so, so, not done.
Thank you to http://www.guardian.co.uk for the pay-chart. Thank you to http://www.weareequals.org/ for their incredible “bond” video. Thanks to whoever made the above JPEG, which I totally stole. AS IT IS MY RIGHT – erm….. Cheers. x
I first started watching this woman’s ridiculous vlogs at the insistance of the internet, and I can’t. even. handle.
Without going through the many points she’s made (because it’s so not even worth someone like me deigning to explain the idiocy of someone like that… if you want to see what an utter twat this woman is just watch the video above, or basically any of her videos at all), I ‘d like to send an open letter to lil’ miss ‘why do people even post everything on the internet – why can’t people keep it in their homes like it’s the 1950′s!?’
Dear Trisha,
I seriously almost vomited watching your videos. Thanks! :) In the first few seconds, I thought Meh, she’s really young, and dumb, and thinks she’s gonna be a superstar in LA blah blah blah. And then I heard your gross, outdated views on politics, feminism, race-relations, LIFE, et cetera.
Here’s the thing, babygirl. You actually speak so much about what men like, but I doubt (though I’m beyond certain you’ve ‘been with’ many guys – not hating, just being real) that you have ever been with a MAN.
Any man with self-respect and an ounce of intelligence would back away slowly from your wonk-stare and inane rambling, having risk-assessed the 100% probability of gaining STI’s and some ‘take me away and marry me out of living in a bedsit’ vibe. This is based on your look and the way you speak in the videos you post - so don’t get all pouty and ‘why does the internet pick on meeeee??’
Now, I know you’re going to chalk it up to be being a ‘hater’, and like you said in your video, “haters hate because they wish they had something you have”, which I’ll let slide. Sure, tweak that dose of Oprealism all you like to ‘gain self-confidence’ or whatever it is you’re bound to do to discredit valid commentary your drivel has spawned, and potentially your biggest chance to confront the one-dimensional, manufactured image you’re trying to pass off as unique, interesting and worth a follow (and woah, potentially actually become someone unique, interesting-ish and worth a MEH)
You, like, ‘used to be super-insecure’? No way!!!
Thanks for all the tips on how to have confidence and feel really great even if I’m confronted with reverse racism in a T.G.I. Fridays (because I’m so beautiful, and have the courage to date a black dude. Oh I mean, African American Man. Whatever. Cause he’s all ‘Dark Chocolate’ and all). Thanks for explaining to me that I can proudly wear dresses from the ‘used’ section of the drive-through combination knocking shop/pizza hut. I can totally ‘Express Myself’ and ‘My Sexuality” and “Inner Beauty” now. But really, though? ‘HATER’? HA! What do you have that I don’t? It’s certainly not a brain, sex appeal, a following, interesting opinions, well-thought-out ideas, talent….ummm do you want me to continue? ’Haters’ are ‘hating’ on you because you look and sound like a complete moron, who has the audacity to publicly discredit civil rights movements, feminism, et cetera… do you even get that?
No, you probably don’t. But I suspect you don’t actually care about the discussions your idiocy has started, never mind the fact that you don’t actually seem capable of a dialogue about these subjects you’ve never researched and have ranted about online. I imagine you probably think you’ve been quite clever, picking hot-button topics to ‘discuss’ in an attempt to boost your badly-branded acting/singing/stripping career…… Troll by name, troll by nature, hm?
So. Question time. And real’s gonna hurt, so get the baby-wipes and canned-tan ready for the imminent repair job.
Do you actually think you’re going to be an actress? Really? Like in the way that Meryl Streep is an actress? (Let’s all pause for a minute just to imagine your Oscar speech for the portrayal of Pamela Anderson’s hefty stand-in in the feature length production of “The Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee Sex Tape“) Do you honestly think there’s a shortage of LA Bimbo Bitches on the next season of Rock Of Love and that’s what ‘acting’ is? Do you maybe mean an actress in an ‘adult movie’ context? Because I really cannot take you seriously with this. Do you wish it was the 1950′s because your only shot is a ‘shot’ (and I think we all know what kind…) on the casting couch? Ever heard the expression ‘dime a dozen’? I’m christening you with ‘nickel a thousand’.
Do you really think a ‘MAN’ (as I mentioned above — which is like, upstairs from this paragraph, ‘kay? — I doubt you’ve ever encountered) wants to be represented by a woman he’d like to marry (LOL LOL LOL) in the way that you have represented yourself all over the internet?
Oh, and this man, who is totally tolerant, loving and respectful of your “career” and “opinions” is obviously going to be some kind of millionaire, naturally, to financially support you with your no-job and 6-10 babies. He’s going to be a really ambitious man just swooning over you and how gorgeous and beautiful and intelligent you are, yeah? Are you actually stupid enough to think that a man who would prefer a woman who keeps her silly ol’ LADY opinions to herself and makes sure the ‘house is pretty and the kids are pretty’ is going to be the type of man who isn’t possibly a complete sexist dick himself (match made in heaven, if only he doesn’t beat you in the face when you’re outta line, right)?
You bang on about being a Catholic and a Republican – and you’ve said you’d thought you might want to go into politics yourself (as the entire universe just barfed in its’ mouth). ”Women shouldn’t be in politics because they are bad drivers”? FUCKING HELL! I’m sputtering sentence fragments, you’re so dumb! Check a few other ‘ladies’ with political aspiration: Idnira Ghandi!Aung San Suu Jyi!Elizabeth I! (No, Sarah Palin does not make anything close to the cut.) Are you that self hating, with that little self-confidence that you’re pleased to be spouting that woman-bashing dogmatic rubbish?
I imagine you think those kind of ‘political’ views may, in fact endear you to one of those Mitt Romney types that you’re gonna vote for ‘because he’s cute’. Mitt Romney thinks abortion should be criminalized (well you know, except for the bad pregnancies like from rape or incest). You go on about how you don’t have babies and (OMG) you had to download some pictures of ‘mixed-race kids’ to your sidekick ‘for work’ – because it would make you more money with the ethnically diverse clientele who visit the strip club in the daytime, and have ‘a thing’ for being lied to with ‘yeah, I guess I do look really good since I just gave birth six weeks ago’. Maybe you won’t even have to bother downloading those pictures if hot-stuff-Romney gets elected, because he’ll probably outlaw the damn morning-after pill as well as ban abortion, and you strike me as the proactive, safe sex type who insists on using condoms every time – insert massive eyeroll here. The bad news is you might have more competition in the daytime strip olympics from other ‘moms’, as you mentioned, because with the economy the way it is and more babies and less money in the social funding kitty… Uh-Oh! He also feels strongly that there is a ‘cesspool of pornography’ in America today, and I’m pretty sure stripping doesn’t qualify as child’s-birthday-entertainer, so you might be out of a job, kitten. Two jobs if you count famous superstar actress in the always-classy adult film industry. Mitt Romney also doesn’t believe in LGBTQ rights, so why don’t you talk to all your cool, drag queen friends about that while you’re spouting off feel-good RuPaul quotes. Work!
I actually feel a bit sorry for you, because you’re clearly desperate for attention, massively insecure and a byproduct of some shitty small town. Evidence? EVERYTHING YOU POST. Look, I didn’t wake up this morning wanting to be a complete bitch, and I’m sure you don’t wake up each morning thinking “I want to portray myself in a pathetic, self-hating, insecure-masquerading-as-open-book-confidence fashion and then be fayyyyymouuuus forevvvverrr!” I’m sure it makes you feel like a goddess to have people responding to the nonsense you spew, to feel like you have started some internet sensation, but you know what? So has this guy:
So don’t feel too special. LA is big but it ain’t that big and getting a name for yourself (particularly in West Hollywood) as an uneducated, racist, right-wing, self-hating barf-bag version of a blow-up doll is not going to do your ‘career’ any favors.
You said you can put your whole fist in your mouth. For the love of God, DO IT ALREADY.
At least 70% of being an artist of any description is absorbing everything around you, so that when you produce something (and hopefully a ‘relevant something’) it will be a creative mishmash of pop- and social- and controversi- and IWasDrunk-cultures with at least some degree of depth, and not just some “MEH”, paint-by-numbers, Lego house reproduction of the successful art you’ve seen or heard before.
So, if you follow the subtext, this semi-explains my absence from blogging – I’ve been observing-sans-reporting and percolating so as to slam dunk some sounds all over you for 2012. Yes, I know you’re all fed up with hearing this over and over and over and over (like a monkey with a miniature cymbal), but obviously when one creates something new and exciting, it’s far more new and exciting than the last creation, and therefore all the previously-deemed-appropriate hourly agonizations resulting in a final product five minutes ago are rendered immediately obsolete.
It also takes a while to extrapolate high-energy joyful disappointment (or ‘disco music for cutters’, if you will) and package it appropriately in a manner that doesn’t reek of self-indulgent musical masturbation, or that if it does at least it’s intentional. (Unintentional self-indulgent musical masturbation = Going to the acoustic show of a girlfriend’s boyfriend only to be ‘shushed’ as he waxes poetic about granola and how hard it is being a white twentysomething with a goatee. And she’s all ‘Isn’t he so soulful? His lyrics are like, so deep.’ while he’s all ‘pot makes me think about….the universe, man‘. Fucking hippies.)
Anyhow, did you really think I would abandon you? It’s been four years of madness, audience – one would think you’d have gotten the whole ‘she likes to be listened to, whatever the random misdirected discourse-for-one is’ thing by now. I shan’t be leaving anytime soon (barring total death or any other romantically tragic complications) so stay tuned, and if you’re really that desperate, (PLUG PLUG PLUG) you should start following me on Twitter already, where you get the bonus realtime NikkiAwesome bonus, and you won’t have to bitch so much in real life, ’cause I’ll be all over that for you. You can spend your time saying “omg yeah totally” while going about your day-to-day as a positive and happy person. Perhaps small woodland creatures will flock to your new positive outlook in charming, Disneylike fashion. Really, I should be charging for this, is what I’m getting at.
So, to summarize the above: Yes, I was gone, but I was brain-baking some wicked treats for you and they’re piping hot and you’ll be all ‘thanks for that’, so chill with the complainy comments already! We will soon be once again deconstructing hideous attempts at ‘fashion’, enraging conservatives, inappropriately encountering the rat race in far too many daylight sequins, and taunting pot-smoking, hackysack-playing hippies (but you can’t get wifi on a didgeridoo though, so they’ll never see it, without your help in spreading the message) .
Today’s topic is IN 2012, WHAT SOCIAL INAPPROPRIATENESS SHOULD BE PUNISHABLE BY DEATH?
Now, I realize that this is a controversial topic, particularly as everyone all over the internerd is getting all ‘uppity politically correct tsk-tsker’ after a few blogs have come out to say ‘THIS is why you shouldn’t do this or say that”. I don’t actually have that much of an issue with attempting to be a bit more sensitive with the way one speaks/writes so as not to piss everyone off and scandalize the anonymous millions with ‘um wow, you’re actually totally racist/sexist/whateverist’. HOWEVER – that being said, I’m more than a bit disappointed that rather than open a dialogue to debate evolving ‘socially OK’ language and the WHY’s behind the move toward one thing and away from another, more often than not the ‘offender’ is bullied into submission and a defensive position, afraid of appearing as though they ARE racist/sexist/whatever (even though they probably are) and not really ‘getting’ the reasons behind it. This just leads to closet discrimination, people. Rather than chastise someone into aligning with your point-of-view (because that always works, right), try explaining. And explaining again. Or hit them with a chair. But fuck off with the tsk-tsking and judgement, as it makes thou no better!
So, back to my topic.
SOCIALLY INAPPROPRIATE ACTIVITIES TO BE HERETOFORE PUNISHABLE BY DEATH
Rerecording Motown classics *badly and selling them on iTunes for the same price as the original (limbs should be removed prior to public disemboweling to the sweet sounds of the original recording of Stop! In The Name Of Love)
Riding a fucking unicycle. Really? Was the Penny Farthing rental agency all out of appropriately douchebaggy bikes? Are you for serious? You’re so ‘zany’.
Body glitter on part-time substitute teachers bussing in from the suburbs to linger for happy hour in the financial district and hope for the apparition of a husband. Just get a third cat and dress it up like a baby already!
The whole ‘lets do the girlfriend/boyfriend experience’ thing and then DISAPPEARING – when you could probably just be honest/not totally cowardly and say ‘im not really feeling it’, rather than letting the other person deal with the #HUHWHAT of figuring out why you picked them to be a complete cock to.
The selling or purchasing of items that are a total ‘FUCK OFF’. I was told that in Camden, there is a stall that sells pre-crookeded top hats. While it suffices to say that Camden is hideous and vile and THAT EXPLAINS THAT, #Seriously!? Are you the goddamn Artful Dodger or something? Fashion JAIL.
I HEART WHATEVER CITY shirts – when wearing them in the city you’re claiming to love. I’m just not feeling it. Maybe not DEATH, but certain maiming. Unless there’s sequinage involved. Then immediate death, obviously.
This blog entry is getting a little ‘too wordy’, already. So Imma leave it here and I’m happy to recieve your submissions, which I will take to parliament and everyone will applaud when I deliver them on a broadcast with the Queen and she’s all ‘here’s your OBE and such’ and I become a ‘Lady’ and there’s a montage of me doing country-house things for offensively wealthy people and having staff and whatever. Fade. Credits.
This posting is in response to the police officer who, on January 24th, 2011, addressed a group of students and staff at Osgoode Law School during a campus safety information session. Not only did Police Services fail to address the issue appropriately (never mind failing massively in correctly managing the complete bullshit coming from the officer in question), Excalibur, the York University community newspaper reported February 16th, 2001, that:
On Jan. 24, a campus safety information session was held at Osgoode Hall, where members from York security and two male officers from Toronto police 31 Division handed out safety tips to community
members.
Ronda Bessner, who attended the session, remembered being surprised by what the officer suggested to women.
“One of the safety tips was for women not to dress like ‘sluts.’ He said something like, ‘I’ve been told I shouldn’t say this,’ and then he uttered the words,” said Bessner, Osgoode assistant dean of the Juris Doctor Program. “I was shocked and appalled. I made contact with the police [...] and we’ve asked for a written apology and an explanation.”
YFS vice-president Darkshika Selvasivam, who did not attend the session, also expressed shock upon hearing the comments.
“I’m appalled by the comment that the police officer has made saying that women should avoid dressing like sluts, and I think it goes to show the inherent misogyny and lack of education,” said Selvasivam, York Federation of Students (YFS) executive.
“I think the officer should be very seriously reprimanded for the comment.”
After the session, Bessner spoke with students and student organizations and noted they, too, expressed concerns about the comment. Bessner proceeded to call 31 Division to demand an apology and explanation.
“Initially it was a call, and the officer said he would get back to me right away. A couple of days had lapsed, so I sent a letter,” she said.
Toronto police spokesperson Constable Wendy Drummond confirmed the incident has been brought to the attention of senior officials and is currently under investigation.
“[This is] definitely something that we take very seriously. This matter [...] has been brought to the attention of our professional standards unit and is something we will be looking into,” she said.
However, she could not confirm whether Toronto police intend to issue an official apology.
“We are of the position that if these comments were made, it is definitely something that we will [act on],” she added.
Bessner said she has yet to receive an official apology from the officer. She has also spoken to York security and noted that they were also upset by the comments.
So no forethought, no thought (obviously), blatant misogyny, represented directly to the community they were intending to protect, and still no apology — until the above piece was run. Ri-Dick. U. Louse.
This is offensive on so many levels, first and foremost because, as we are told, the police are given “sensitivity training” regarding these types of “don’t fuck off the public” type issues – and yet it was still seen as an appropriate comment to not only make, but to not have to apologize for until public outcry made it pretty fucking obvious it was unacceptable. But are we as citizens to believe that if this type of commentary is being made outside the confines of a network (that derives its strength from a code where lives and careers depend on the trust of individuals to back one another up) it is not likely derivative of a school of thought within that network?
Secondly, and I think what is most upsetting to me, is that approaching people on campus relates not only directly to how safe they can feel in a place of learning, but also indicates to young people that they should adhere to some kind of moralistic dress code, rather than feel as though they can be protected by the police, no matter what they choose to wear. Now, I do understand that there are a significant number of mature students and faculty to whom it’s debatable that my point applies, but hear me out: there are members of staff, faculty, and students that may be at a point in their lives where they are dealing with a multi-gendered living and learning environment for the first time. This may well mean that they perhaps take for granted the securities that in another environment, would be assured. Many people go off to school for the first time and have their first drinks, first drugs, first sexual experiences; so there is bound to be varying degrees in levels of experimentation, just as there are varying degrees of levels of “acceptable dress”. By making a statement like “Don’t dress like a slut in order to avoid sexual assault”, the police undermine, in a way that has for too long been undermined, the realities of an assault or rape victim’s suffering, and further victimize them while insinuating validation for the attack, not to mention ratifying the attacker’s intent to harm by virtue of applying the “asking for it” defense.
Thirdly, who defines what is morally appropriate to wear? What is it, exactly, that indicates someone is dressed as a so-called “slut”? Let’s be a little realistic here and suggest that maybe, just maybe fashion styles have been leaning toward non-hoop-skirt for the past bazillion years anyway. Am I “dressed like a slut” in the above picture? Doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. A Dress Is Not A Yes. PERIOD.
How many women (and I am stressing women for the moment, because that is what the article/incident in question relates to, but I don’t think for a second that sexual violence is limited to gender or sexual orientation) find themselves in a position of invalidating their own emotions and psychological well-being post-trauma simply as a means to justify its occurrence? I myself have never been in the position where, post-harassment/grabbing/et cetera, I didn’t feel as though it was a duty to myself to call attention to the attacker’s behavior. And what happened? Basically nothing. More than 3 times. So you can imagine how, perhaps, someone with less inclination to draw attention to their situation might fear not only that nothing more will come of it than a slap on the wrist for the attacker and possible recriminations toward them, additional shame, or just plain fear. And now, (reiterated once again, thanks to the police’s A-1 public relations) as though they must have done something to deserve it.
Too many women are browbeaten by society into accepting the flawed notion that a “sexy” style of clothing, attitude or demeanor not only invites but negates inappropriate contact – and this is the same society that glorifies sexuality in its marketing of literally any brand or product. The moralistic approach of suggesting that women protect themselves by covering up only serves to illustrate how society feels it is appropriate to protect a virgin, not a whore; and when values like that are being embraced and encouraged by those that protect us, how are we truly to feel safe? Whether or not someone dresses in a provocative fashion makes them no more or less deserving of an assault than dressing like a hip hop artist should give someone a Grammy. Yes, it seems like (and is) a ridiculous comparison, but what is more ridiculous? Some dumb analogy on a blog, or the fact that these notions of equality, of protection, and of human rights which people have fought (and died) for are being uprooted and recovered with the erosions of our freedoms, to protect the same controversial and corrupt dealings we’re so quick to point out in other societies.
Hypocrisy, but what else is new.
Dress how you want, but more importantly don’t be afraid to report abuse/sexual misconduct as part of a societal misconception embedded to continue to make people ashamed of their sexualities, and to defend predatory behaviors. Below is a clip of Sunday’s SLUTWALK in Toronto, which incited the majority of this rant.
So I’ve been in London now for about two months, and I’ve been loving it, aside from the shitty weather.
HOWEVER.
There is one thing that’s been different/difficult to get used to. Banter.
The weird thing is, Canada is a pretty sarcastic country, generally, and coming from Toronto, I felt like I had mastered the art of being charmingly insulting and terribly talented in one-upmanship. While this is so beyond true, obviously, one of the major differences I’ve noticed as a foreigner in this country is that there is a lot of well-meaning trash-talk that indicates that you are well-loved in London, whereas in Toronto the constant onslaught of diabolical quips would leave one politely debating whether or not to offer the main course of knuckle sandwich to their opponent.
It’s strange that our countries — which seem so similar at first glance — can be oh-so-different in so many random-yet-still-annoying capacities. Aside from the whole banter thing (which I think really designates a particular distinction in terms of the Brits and their love of reverse-snobbery in conjunction with a general forced-by-social-convention politeness which can either make a room refreshingly hilarious or incredibly awkward), there are multiple “rules” by which the laws of social interaction operate that are a constant source of HUH?! compared to the Canadian version of demented social behavior.
Coming from a country that is relatively “young” comparatively, and it being sort of the bookish bespectacled cousin of the super-cool-teenager-with-a-car-and-Journey-on-the-8track that is the United States, I feel as though Canada, pretty as she is, with great healthcare and an overwhelming sense of happiness pie, can, on occasion, emit a social aura of petulant stepchild desperate to be perceived as rebellious. But still living in mom’s basement.
Typically I find that Canadians define themselves strictly as “Not American”, as though that should be enough of a distinction to denote some wealth of culture less obvious and gaudy and therefore more refined. This, however, stuns me, as the majority of the pop culture that Canadians absorb is rarely Canadian, and the most obvious injecting culprit source is America. Defining your culture by being better than the politics, yet still playing in the refuse post-ticker tape parade seems all a bit “I’m not eating with you guys. I’m so totally taking that apple pie to my room so I can eat it and think about how much I hate you all.” AKA Canadian Thanksgiving/Macy’s Parade Envy.
In Canada, particularly, I find that pop culture (and therefore the social representation of that distilled culture) has been so watered-down by political correctness, by the choice between live-and-let-live-VS-i’m-better-than-youness, by chronic technological upgrades psychologically trickling down and resulting in necessitating social upgrade-by-commonality/community that it’s created a cultureless vacuum, a no-men-are-equal/all-men-are-islands effect. The individual striving to showcase “the individual”, and paradoxically sharing a common core sentiment of “I’m not like the rest of them” as the primary indicator of definitive individuality.
I don’t mean to suggest that this cultural phenomenon exists only in Canada, far from it. But its presence is so cheekily unmentioned, that, like the elephant in the room, eventually it begins to require it’s own place-setting. The difference I note in other countries is the obviousness and awareness of their own nationalistic affectations, and could well be analogized in the script of MEAN GIRLS: “I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that’s only because I was acting like a bitch.” Sometimes I prefer the un-subtleties.
Either way. Back to my original point, about how I thought of Canadians as typically quite sarcastic and surly, which I now recognize perhaps pales into insignificance alongside the jovial assholeishness of the English. And that Canadians perhaps have more work to do in defining their own social behavior-as-denoted-by-the-popular-culture.
That random rambling all being expunged from the record, originally I was going to help you out with your banter.
But I think these guys can help you more than I can.
Kinda impressed with Jay-Z lately.
