Check out the latest shoot I did for HASELGROVE with photographer Daniel Frome. Jane Haselgrove does all my custom pieces but also has a sick rad line, currently selling at The Rage in Kensington Market, among other chic boutiques. Buy her stuff!
Video footage – courtesy of Todd Julie – of us hijacking the TD tower around 1 pm on a wednesday, set to my track “Nouveau Riche“.
Power Lunch, WHAT?
So, amateur tourist — you’ve absorbed a little of the local Toronto flavor, but it’s the outskirts of a city that truly define the core, so let’s hop on the highway (that’s motor- or freeway to you outsiders) and follow the yellow brick road to rural Ontario.
If you’re British, please remember to drive on the RIGHT side of the road after picking up your Duplo-style sport utility vehicle, and away we go!
Passing through Scarborough due to the inevitable weekend closure of the Don Valley Parkway, one takes in the sights and scents of Kingston Road en route to the 40l. If you’ve decided to upgrade your journey’s route, dismissively uninviting the myriad of exciting people you’re bound to encounter blaring clipped bass boost from souped-up Honda Civics, you can get a similar effect by pressing pause and play alternately on the DVD of the Queen Latifah hit TAXI. If you’re anything like me, you will likely be watching this from the passenger seat in the chauffeured comfort of your Aston Martin DB6 Volante.
Mode of transportation notwithstanding, the chase is on for fun and frolic in the Ontario wilderness, so strap in and let’s get rural.
My personal preference is for the Canadian Shield rather than the typical Muskokas, strictly on the basis that I want to see fewer of the people I’m leaving the city to get away from. 8 dollar beers at the Muskoka local are nothing to sneeze at, whereas the dust on the last bottles of Spumante Bambino (this rural town’s finest) – Are.
Keynote on Ontario/Alcohol – If it wasn’t clear to you from the preceding post, it is imperative that one acknowledges that it is practically un-possible to get wine, beer, or spirits without purchasing them from Ontario’s Finest. I’m fairly confident that Ontario is one of the only provinces with such a horrifying policy, but let me assure you it is one of the major drivers in muy emigracion, let me tell you.
You’ve purchased the driest white you can find (red wines stain teeth and taste like cork. It’s a personal wine-mantra) and most of the village’s supply of vodka. Your hair and makeup should emulate Bette Davis in Whatever Happened To Baby Jane
as you toddle wearily into the country house to freshen up. Leave your driver to unpack the bags, as you’ve got a date with destiny.
Who needs nature walks when you can nature-off-road! Meet your car away from cars, the Rhino.
Unlike its predecessors, the Rhino (aka the Homo Erectus of the ATV world) is prone to flipping, so make sure you pop your drink on a coaster before you make a big old silly mess of it all. If you look to your left, you’ll find various mosses, grasses, branches, woodlandness, rocks, dirt, et cetera. Don’t become mesmerized for too long, as you’re meant to be driving now that we’re up north and it’s a sport and not a chore!
If you’re hitting the water, you must remember to look enchanting, even in the event of traversing at speeds defying terminal velocity. One must look one’s best, even in plaid — King and country, don’t you agree!?
After the booze is gone and you’ve had enough of country-time life, you might consider stopping at one of Canada’s most loved institutions for a bit of good old-fashioned slumming. Yes, I’m talking about Tim Horton’s.
Yes, you, too can pretend to be an early-rising hockey mom with a full day ahead of carting kids to and from the arena for Ringette Shinny, or equivalent winter sportiness. Just say it, for funsies! “I’ll have a triple double and Andy needs me to get the truck back AY-SAP!” Role-playing never tasted so double-roasted!
You’ll need to catch up on some sleep after the billion-hour drive there and back, but not likely, is it? You’ve got more touristing to do! Get your ass back to city life, and try to ignore the hateful jealousy Cityfolk might send your way. Remember, Envy is a sin!
Night night!
Having spent the last few weeks with an imported beau, I have managed to effectively transform, chameleon-style, into a Tourista in my motherland (which is why you’re all so cranky with me, not blogging or tweeting or facebooking, oh my!) leading to a series of revelations regarding the masses of individuals-cum-kinship clumps that also pilgrimage to and from tourist attractions in Toronto, and on Toronto’s tourist attractions themselves.
Seeing as there aren’t thaaaat many tourist spots to see (comparative, darling, to some of my 2nd home European and American cities — No, not Gatwick and LaGuardia airports, sweetpeas), unless of course one were to favor gorgeous fine dining establishments such as The Hard Rock Cafe, MR GREENJEANS at the Toronto Eaton Centre, and of course the unfortunately named (and decorated) Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, I had to hustle in order to fry up some creative Touristing. Alors, mes enfants, it was with a heavy heart in a sturdy brassiere that I decided to conjure up a tour of Toronto complete with sights-without-plaques, for those of my readers that decide my hometown is their next travel destination.
First stop?
Upon picking up one’s pretty new package from YYZ (That’s Pearson International to you out-of-towners, check your luggage tag. See?), it is imperative that your first stop be at the local LCBO. Now, this is critical, as they may think perhaps they are in some foreign country like Quebec where in fact one could purchase liquor everywhere and you have to hammer the point home that this is not, in fact, so. The only amendment to this rule is if you, the host, are living in the neighborhood of good breeding, my hometown of Rosedale (you cant choose family, but you can choose your hometown), in which case the Summerhill LCBO is not, sweethearts, indicative of the norm in Toronto, so you must proceed directly to Dundas and Ossington (I know it’s out of the way, but hey, you live in Rosedale so I’m assuming you can afford the cab fare), where you will purchase vaguely imported wines at extortionate prices, and not cluck your tongue when the chilled wine fridge is broken, as “it’s been that way for months.”
After purchasing your discounted, screw-top white wine (as recommended in NOW MAGAZINE — You’ll want to pick one of those up), you will proceed directly to Trinity Bellwoods Park, where your guest has thoughtfully set up the Fortnum & Mason’s fine china picnic hamper. Watching the sun set over the dog-basin, one views a select population of (mostly) single people and their canine companions eye one another up for potential match.com conversations to be had at a later date. One exits the park, picnic basket in hand, as the sun lies low on the horizon and potential cottagers emerge to score appropriate benches and get up to who-knows-what as young neo-hippies bang bongo drums and caterwaul in the style of Dave Matthews.
Leaving Bellwoods behind with contented sighs, and dozy from cheap wine, slap some sense into yourself with a strong double RedBull, as you’ve got a big night ahead fighting both jet lag AND fighting off the babes as you venture into the gorgeous establishments of Queen West West.
If your trip is anything like my guest’s, you’ll spend about four hours watching me DJ in The Gladstone Hotel, but don’t worry, there will be a constant selection of gorgeousness parading past you to the sweet strains of Shakira’s She Wolf. Making new friends is easy! Just keep drinking! Following potential sexual assaults (Just kidding, they’re hot! You’re hot! And more importantly, you’re on vacation!) making a tipsy weave up the street you try not to touch (“They don’t call it Clean Street,” as the saying goes) you’ll find yourself at The Beaver Cafe, a wicked little local that 9 times out of 10 will be super fucking fun. Go on, have a cupcake. Yes, they are 40 Million calories, but who’s counting? You’ll burn that off making out on the patio, anyway.
A fun little game: go on, pick a bar. No, not the Drake or the Beaconsfield that you’ve read about in your handy handjob tourbook, I mean walk into a bar. We picked a charming new spot that claimed to be called “The Savoy”. Either way it will be a hilarious “Remember when we went to that shit adult-contemporary bar”, or not, right? Spill your drinks and then say you’re from out of town, be offered a DJ residency, try not to barf Jager on the bar and exit laughing in another language. Just a thought.
Fall asleep drunk, but remember to set your travel-alarm — You’ve got touristing to do tomorrow!!
Wake up! You’ve got a busy day ahead, and this one begins on the outskirts of the Village and The Ryerson Ghetto! You’ll be making a stop at the Hassle Free Clinic to top up your STI testing (nobody likes a litterbug on vacay!) followed by a free trip to the Hooker Harvey’s just down the block, as you’re en route to tourism at its finest. Chow down, Lardass! Following your fine dining experience, you’ll make your way to Allen Gardens, which is free to get in and also boasts a diverse collection of field-dwellers and the criminally insane in addition to a fairly well-manicured conservatory. When people ask you if you’re “From Hollywood”, remember that the answer is always “yes”. When they ask you for money, you claim not to have received your royalties. And yes, you are in fact, Christina Aguliera.
Next stop? TTC! Finding yourself in Moss Park, you will be alternately amused and terrified at its goings-on, and react accordingly. As you are not driving, there will be no power-lock pushing as crackheads approach you, so do remember some advice I once received in Parkdale, “Crackheads are like pigeons, if you walk through them with a handful of breadcrumbs (ie money and drugs) in your hand they’ll swarm, but otherwise they’ll just wander aimlessly, pecking at the air.” There, you’ll catch the bus to the Distillery District, mere moments away, and have all memories of hookery whisked away in old tymey fashion by old tymey buildings and Mill Street Organic beer.
As one does, the key to closure on any day in a new city is finding the place to take your “it’s so romantic” pictures in a hazy sunset, so back on the TTC to The Beaches you’ll go, narrowly avoiding being hit by SUV baby buggies, large terriers, and the latte-owners who possess them. Kick the babies off the swingsets and tell them to fuck off over to the jungle gym while you drink coffee South of Woodbine and Queen. You’re not leaving dirty needles behind, so Stay-At-Home-Dad can keep the dirty looks to himself! By this point, a romantical sunset walk is well in order, and you make people barf on the Boardwalk while you’re all “baby I love you” or having a domestic, as the case may be.
Either way, you still look better than that douchebag with the white-people-dreads offering impromptu juggling lessons.
Part Two Coming Soon….
Trying to have fun while being crushed and defeated by mother nature… Why did I love you so much and you messed with my flight patterns?
Violence in schools isn’t something new, it’s just something the media is finally harping on about again (since fewer of Tiger Woods’ texts are available to deconstruct for hours).
My heart goes out to the friends and families of Mike McDonald, who was tragically murdered outside his school yesterday afternoon. By all accounts, this kid was a sweet guy who was allegedly in a dispute “about a girl and 10 bucks” (TORONTO STAR).
In Missisauga, another GTA suburb, another teen was left fighting for his life after a stabbing outside an elementary school.
What the fuck, people? We all know this is wrong, and tragic, and unnecessary. Who is looking after our youth when these stories are a blip on the public radar, something for retired people to phone in and comment on on the News At Noon?
I have spoken to several friends and artists and an organization called Beatbullying in the UK (that unfortunately doesn’t have a Canadian chapter), but there seems to be a gap here in Canada (or certainly in the GTA) to address teen violence and its victims. I am very interested in working with any non-religious programming in order to address these issues – it’s the public’s lack of interest/awareness that continues to allow this kind of thing to be prevalent in schools and out.
It guts me that there are kids who are scared, taunted, ridiculed by peers about everything from their weight, their nationality, their sexuality and feel like they don’t have any other options than violence – either towards others or themselves. Peer pressure and bullying contribute to the overwhelming pressures facing teens today who, regardless of what mom & dad think about “back in my day”, are not being equipped properly to deal with those pressures.
High School Fucking Sucks. End Of. It really doesn’t matter if you’re the blonde Barbie or the quiet one in the corner, the “weird girl” or the football hero — you will never think of the people in your high school once you leave it behind. It’s so daunting, I’m sure, that it must feel inescapable when school society is in your home — on your laptop, coming in via text, but try and hold out. The weird kid will become some famous artist and Barbie probably has some horrible family issues that contribute to her anorexia and make her want to act superior. Everyone is all fucked up in High School. Just try and suck it up and get through it without too many scars. Don’t hurt people. Try not to get hurt.
Love.
xx
As many of you know I am a vegetarian and a huge lover of animals. The Toronto Humane Society and its board have been charged with animal cruelty after a surprise raid revealed conditions that were beyond inhumane and appalling, with hundreds of animals in distress and some even to the point of requiring euthanasia. “Animals at the Toronto Humane Society are living in ‘a house of horrors,’ inspectors said Nov. 27, 2009. Neglected animals allegedly live and die in terrible pain; feral cats roam free between walls.” (CARLOS OSORIO/TORONTO STAR)
You can read more of the horror stories in The Toronto Star, which is a pretty unbiased paper as far as they go. It is DISGUSTING.
The charitable donations (ie. money you and I donate, or what’s been willed to the THS from long-standing members) are being used to pay for legal fees for THE SAME PEOPLE AT THE CENTER OF THIS CORRUPTION & INHUMANITY. The below article summarizes how the THS, headed now by the same board who elected Tim Trow as their President year after year, wants to essentially hit a “reset” button on the River Street Shelter, euthanizing hundreds of animals, and ignoring the current scandal while empowering once more the same sick individuals who created this disgusting mess to begin with.
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
Become a member of the THS and follow the story. Make your voice heard at meetings and DO NOT allow them to get away with this.
Please share this information with your friends lists and make people aware that this disgusting misuse of funds and blatant continued corruption of an organization that is run primarily on charitable donations CANNOT be allowed to euthanize hundreds of animals and continue their pilfering of funds donated to HELP animals, not neglect, mistreat and generally be INHUMANE towards the creatures they claim to protect.
Thanks for taking the time to read and re-post.
xx
________________________________
THS seeks court approval to close shelter for 6-8 wks
PLEASE NOTE WHEN READING THE BELOW ARTICLE:
The “board” referred to is the same board who elected Tim Trow as their President year after year – including after the Sept30/09 AGM. recently appointed Garth Jerome as their new executive director.
Please also remember that 3 of the current directors, Bob Hambley (the “new President”), Alan Johnson, and Bud Walters were supporters of Tim Trow in his first term as President in the 1980’s before Trow resigned amid allegations of animal neglect and mismanagement – allegations that are shockingly similar to those he’s facing today (see http://www.reformths.com/images/1983_84_Toronto_Star_articles.pdf ). THS’s current V.P., Joan Milne, is Alan Johnson’s sister.
In Mr Jerome’s affidavit the board approves his plan to ‘rehabilitate the THS in a manner’ where it can ‘best serve’ Toronto . Sounds impressive – yet why only now are these changes being proposed, and had Nov26’s arrests not taken place what state would the THS have been allowed to continue to devolve into? It’s like locking the barn door after the proverbial horse has escaped.
Toronto Humane Society wants to clear its cages and start anew
Shelter would be closed for six to eight weeks, and many animals likely would be euthanized
Kate Hammer
From Tuesday’s Globe and Mail
Published on Tuesday, Mar. 30, 2010 4:00AM EDT
Last updated on Tuesday, Mar. 30, 2010 4:14AM EDT
——————————————————————————————————
The Toronto Humane Society is seeking a court’s permission to close its doors, clear the cages and make sweeping changes to its animal-care policies in a rebuilding effort that would amount to pressing the reset button on one of Canada ’s oldest and largest animal charities.
The closing, which was recommended by independent animal-care experts and approved recently by the charity’s board of directors, would last approximately six to eight weeks, with the shelter likely reopening in June. Such a move would leave the fate of the dwindling number of animals still inside the shelter, estimated at about 200, in the balance. Most have health and behavioural problems and, with slim chances of being adopted, many would probably be euthanized.
In an affidavit recently filed in court, THS executive director Garth Jerome outlined his designs “to rebuild the THS as a shelter and adoption centre from the ground up, and regain the public’s confidence in the organization.”
Mr. Jerome said he would have to regain control of animal care from the Ontario Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals to carry out the rebuilding. A court awarded control of animal care in the shelter to the OSPCA three months ago, after the provincial organization charged five senior THS managers and its board of directors with animal cruelty.
See attahed affidavit from Toronto Humane Society executive director Garth Jerome
“The current situation gave the organization a chance to re-evaluate its mission and its goals,” said Frank Addario, a lawyer for the board of directors, who added he was reluctant to discuss the matter further as it remains before the courts.
The OSPCA said that “such a drastic step” should not be taken without consulting the charity’s membership.
“In addition, we do not agree that the decision to close the facility, even temporarily, should be made by the current board of directors of the Toronto Humane Society,” said Brian Shiller, a lawyer for the organization.
Most of the members of the board of directors have “indicated an intention to resign shortly,” he said, and any plan for renewal of the embattled charity should be considered at a special meeting of the members.
Mr. Jerome’s affidavit states that during the closing, the entire River Street facility would undergo a deep cleaning, staff would be retrained and a new computer system for tracking animal intake and care would be implemented, among other changes.
Ontario Superior Court Justice David Brown will consider the proposal next week, when hearings will begin on an application by some THS members and the OSPCA to have the charity’s current board of directors removed and order an election for a new board at a special meeting of the members.
The affidavit also outlines some problems that contributed to the need for a shelter overhaul, including animal corpses stored at too-warm temperatures, overcrowding, and animals whose physical and mental states had deteriorated to the point that they had little quality of life.
Euthanasia policies remain a controversial issue at the shelter, where six dogs, some of them favourites of dog-walking volunteers, were euthanized on Friday. The deaths fuelled a demonstration outside the shelter over the weekend in which protesters called the OSPCA dog murderers. However, in a statement posted on the shelter’s website, Mr. Jerome said the decision to euthanize the dogs was made by the THS.
Marcie Laking, a volunteer familiar with the dogs, most of whom were pit bulls who had lived in the shelter for years, said she blamed their deaths on bickering among THS staff, volunteers and the OSPCA.
“If we spent half as much time trying to adopt these animals as we did taking shots at each other there’d be no animals in the shelter, they’d all have homes,” she said.
According to Mr. Jerome’s affidavit, as of March 2, there were 255 animals in the care of the THS, including just 160 cats and 22 dogs. When the OSPCA took control of the shelter in November, there were more than 1,100 animals.
“It is my objective to keep the animal population at the THS moving through our facility quickly to adoptive homes or foster homes so that we do not accumulate a disproportionate number of chronically ill, unadoptable animals,” Mr. Jerome said.
“To a large extent, I believe that closely monitoring and controlling the population of unadoptable animals, coupled with an aggressive adoption campaign, will prevent the problem of overcrowding in the future.”
Check the link for the full interview, YouTube link to come!
Shouts to my girl Fridae who also shot some wicked footage of me pushing a model. Check her YouTube channel.
xx
Check the shots from CMW HERE
10$ or Wristband.
Get on it.
