Yesterday was a bit of a blur of sleeping pills, street signs, gas stations and airport baggage claims. I managed to sleep against the window of our plane for the majority of the flight to Toronto, though there were two screaming infants on my flight that almost had me get up, go over to the mother and with bloodshot eyes, menacingly throat-whisper the words “BABY. NYQUIL.” Yeah ok whatever, so I don’t like babies. Get over it.
WestJet is both awesome AND suck for a multitude of reasons. On the awesome side – free bits n bites, funny safety demo, finding me mints when the pressure in my head is almost causing implosion. On the suck side – No free TV (though they have screens in the back of the seat in front of you they require that you swipe your Visa, and they’re all reruns — which is shizen in my opinion, like being at an eighteen course buffet of peanut products – I’m allergic). The screens constantly advertise WestJet or PURINA products on sale by the stewardesses (air hostesses? Is that the terminology these days?) which is lame, and they only show you how far you’ve flown on the map like, once every ten minutes. If I’m not watching the movie or sleeping I wanna know where I am NOW, man.
Land in Toronto. Wait 15 minutes. A Steward (oh I’m calling it) says over the loudspeaker “Oh. The plane will be delayed another 15 minutes. Accidents happen!” I SWEAR TO GOD. Thank god it was not for my flight. Hop on the next plane, give it a kiss and hope it gets me to the Maritimes safe and sound. Touch down in St John to a mercifully quick baggage claim, car rental and hotel check-in. Left St John today for Fredericton and the lovely Delta chain. Welcome back to the suite life, starring me. The other royals hit Fredericton just in time for soundcheck and after a few Red Bulls (where’s my sponsorship, already?) We’ll be ready to rock the Fred Rock VIP. I’m feeling the Orange tonight. Or maybe the pink. Check in with me after the show.
OH – and for those of you who are fans of my homegirl Care Failure – we’re linking up tomorrow in Halifax and she’ll be at my show (for like the first time ever – normally, as I said before, we are like the Polkaroo to each other. LOOK IT UP. POLKA DOT DOOR, MOTHERFUCKERS!)