Wow, that title just conjured up memories of some pretty dingy late 90’s alt-rock band… I think their name was “Stained” or something.. Like really? I mean I know I am a ridiculous princess and stuff but isn’t that just kind of like… um.. a HORRIBLE name for a band? I would rather listen to the myriad of barely palatable indie rock called “TigerVeloceraptor” or some such nonsense than be like “yo, I was like, depressed.. so I was, you know, sitting in the basement, dreads_pcugetting down with Stained, and stuff”. It makes me think of people with white-people dreads they made from Kool Aid and egg whites and don’t shower to make it “stay in”.

Which brings me to another point. Maybe I’m gonna catch some (more) hate for this, but I’m really not down with white people dreads. Am I going to hell for this? I dunno, maybe if you’re like hardcore Rasta and it means something or whatever… but most of the time it’s just these like, suburban cybergoth kids who are shaking their luscious locks in my face on the bus or something (not that I ever ride it, though, because because I am far, far too famous for that). However, once upon a time, I remember taking the streetcar and it was SOO funny — it was rush hour and these two “punk” kids got on in bondage pants with bingo dabber hair that they probably put up with that elmer’s kid’s glue stuff (you know, the jelly kind?)… but like MASSIVE heis, with about a 12 inch circumference on the Dragonball Z kid teen_dreads (who was like, 5’3″ and about 28 lbs) with the magenta hair and a fluo green skinny hawk on (about 14 inches tall) and it SLAYED me the way they got on the bus and they were being all selfconsciously hostile towards people… kind of like “what are YOUUUU looking at”… and I wanted to be like, um… SERIOUSLY?

Now I feel justified in semi-shittalking other people’s hairstyles because (and you might not know this, megafans) I have so BEEN THERE. I was about the WORST hair offender for YEARS IMG_0674 with a “high-fashion” skunk hawk MULLET. Yeah, I said it, and I’ll post a picture too. so there. The only thing is, if you’re gonna walk around like MAKING A STATEMENT like that, you can’t really be so hostile about people thinking it’s unusual… is all I’m saying… SO “they don’t get it”. So what? Wasn’t that the point?

Anyway…Points. What was the point of this whole rant again?

New video coming SOOO SOOON! Believe! Hold hands, light candles!! It should be coming to a radio station near you semi-immediately so you need to request the shit out of it, or I’m so not your friend anymore!

Apple store impromptu publicity stunt totally worked, btw. I am such a clever clever genius. Now send me pictures of your disgusting teen hair.


3 thoughts on “It’s Been A While… Since My Last Hairstyle

  1. HAHAHAHHA, nikki, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING beats that black wig u wore when we went to Newmarket…. i thought i was gonna die.

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