The other day I was really, really, really bored, so while practicing all kinds of life-admin drudgery (it was my slave’s day off), I started watching Capote, rather half-heartedly, if I do say so myself.
I haven’t read In Cold Blood, and I know it’s critically-acclaimed and all, but true crime fiction doesn’t really do me right, so I was struggling to remember anything about it from when it actually came out and wound up rapidly ignoring what are apparently stellar performances (it happs.) HOWEVER, during the first few minutes of the film, Truman Capote arrives to meet a tense-looking Harper Lee on a train which has already left the station (natch), and the porter arrives with his ludicrous amount of luggage, and then this happens:
PORTER #1 (reading tags) Mr. Truman Capote, Miss Nelle Harper Lee. Where would you like these, sir? TRUMAN That one up there and that one on the floor. He tips them. NELLE What all did you bring? PORTER #2 Thank you greatly, sir. It's an honor to have you with us. If you don't mind my saying, your last book was even better than the first -- TRUMAN You're sweet. PORTER #2 Just when you think they've gotten as good as they can get. TRUMAN Thank you. You're very kind. PORTER #1 (to Nelle) Ma'am. The PORTERS leave. Nelle is stunned. Truman fiddles with the trunk locks, his back to Nelle. Silence, then: NELLE You're pathetic. Truman doesn't answer. NELLE You're pathetic. TRUMAN What? NELLE You paid them to say that.
Have a listen to Limited Ltd., a fantastic slice of smutty, grimy synth pop.
I SWEAR TO GEE I didn’t pay them to say that. But it mega makes my heart beat faster.
Obviously, the logical things to do right now are:
- Tweet Salman Rushdie and explain that the greatest quote that ever existed has just happened, so he shouldn’t feel pressured to top it, or anything (but in a calculated, totally passive-aggressively challenging, “you so actually should, though” way.)
- Click on Deadly Music and rate me 10,000 stars
- Watch the below Sigue Sigue Sputnik video REALLY LOUDLY and dance like Madonna’s paying for it.